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Harte Kurzfilmkritik gesucht ! ! !

Harte Short Film Criticism Wanted! ! !



Frage von JonasB:
Januar 2009

S.alle Hi!
I voted yesterday for an example one of my shorts and've posted surprisingly sophisticated criticisms get ...

So again I ask all my short films up to the last to criticize. From evidence to implementation. Be so hard you can and if possible give me tips on what I do better in the future can be.
Thank you in advance;)

Here's the link:

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=WAcoI4_u4tc

Yours sincerely,

Jonas Bomba



Antwort von fokuss:

the implementation of very orderly.
I believe fits the heartbeat (during Kiffer-ego view and s.ende) not included in the mathematics



Antwort von Isekram:

Although I have no idea .....

... but I've only noticed after the closing credits that the film was over.





Antwort von B.DeKid:

@ JonasB

So you want to know ;-)

Ok .....

Kiffen suicide and somehow not really fit.
(Carlos Castaneda time to read!)

Fishing and power are not synonymous.

Optics on grass - where there are so what?

......................

More playing with the camera, ie s.Henkel take and carry through the field.
Also pictures from the water were still missing.

Oh yes - so who sits outside and s.chillen is synonymous to what has to drink it. Although we see someone what spit but oh well .... yes you would look at the Camera s.den the scene and so can carry of the ground slowly s.die ran two can go. The WW Cam offers to why.

Real stay - if my phone who would nehem and the broad head would throw away, bekämm of anger, but only because my bissel NEN NEN Outdoor Handy yes, because is the only bad.

...............

Yes but you said yourself you had as much of it already and you learned next Developed, so think I will know.

..........

Nutz forest boy for your age man Project

Camera cable

Crane and dolly may

Work with the dark woods and forest glades can with evil / scary or be loved / inviting.

Pay attention to the mask - in other words, the people are dirty.

Take LightBouncer and large flashlights / Battery with light.

Work closely above the ground when moving scenes.

................
Otherwise, halt much success and happiness and let s.deinen next projects are.

Oh yes, for the construction of the tree of the forest, the tenants asked the permits then.

MfG

B. DeKid



Antwort von joerg-emil:

Hi JonasB,

find the idea and the implementation is not bad, but this is me (synonymous) noticed:

Contents:

The basic statement of the prospects coming over, but I understand now synonymous not the direct link to suicide.

I interpret this now just like this: Nobody in this scene "is in fact true friends, they can be found regularly as a community together to thunder away at each other and in their attitude about it. Cancels an out, he is not missed. He is regarded more as a spoilsport or bourgeois, if he should run well. Everyone is replaceable. Perhaps you wanted to this with the suicide of expressing one's gone and that's it, the other will not change .. I find but not so successful. What I would have more rausgearbeitet be the loneliness of the individual.

Fishing does not fit the "senseless" slopes. Go fishing together and then the project still synonymous with the fish fry is simply too "idyllic" for the situation that you want to describe.

From acting yet what could you put it. I could eg imagine more aggressiveness.

What I like is the "conversation" with the dead fish, which expresses well that, in fact, every one his own film and leaves the rest for only the staffage represents. It is wonderfully absurd that the dead fish triggers self-knowledge, than the actual mate, basically the only entertainment stört.

For the technical implementation:

I think the mood lighting "beautiful summer afternoon in the wild" to cheerfully. What my speakers with the seriousness of the forests has meant, I can share. Maybe if you had here on black / white or much colder / gray colors can draw. Even more exciting camera angles could be very useful (everything below eye level).

The Dogma-like motion camera work is so for a movie a good stylistic means. And when you first chose, then I think it is synonymous consistently if they are synonymous throughout. Intermediate tripod or dolly shots had thus reached the mood ruin. There is only one either / or, both its opportunities.

In addition to the many big shots missed me occasionally synonymous times a wide shot, only to the audience to make it easier, what happens to capture spatially synonymous.

With detailed pictures of, for example, smoke, joint, mouth, dead fish in water or whatever synonymous always, you can also create atmosphere.

So that's my mustard .... synonymous but I must admit that such a project, I have not made myself of so erstmal Respekt!

Gruß Jörg-Emil



Antwort von MarcBallhaus:

A short summary of my Page, and I sat down at some times.

My previous speakers, I sometimes do not, especially not what the mood is concerned. If you shock or surprise want, you need contrasts, so inviting-looking woods with subsequent death is in any case better than darker woods with death, because the latter is predictable ... and so boring that one does not, that you have absolutely right. And, s / w is not at all in b / w color only turn blind and ignorant student trainees. Also right.

Otherwise ..

* Camera on shaky. Here too contrast, previously chillig quiet, quiet the camera work with light rides, then Wackelcam with surprise and POV, I would have done it.

* Dialogs ... uahh:) The echt go garnicht act up. If one or Hitchcock Lumet and others may believe, then the silent art of the actual movie, and dialogues, the breeze of salt in the soup; Whereas the means, do your settings so that no sound mind understands that the Pictures tell, and then supplements this with dialogue. Correct would have been, with pictures depict the futility, and the dialogue with the characters to establish, ie know who the persons are in the subtext and understand why they are pointless rumsitzen and why this is happening. Then you would have in the same time twice as much telling, and it would be twice as interesting. This is synonymous important because of the audience to identify with the protagonists may be, otherwise it is a slideshow with Gelaber. Another word that is synonymous German soap;)

* Kiffen and death does not fit, because I am close to. An accident as a result of the Sinniger Kiffen would have been, in conjunction with the above-mentioned point synonymous probably better overall outcome, the more coherent plot.

In addition, I find good that you want to hear truth. If you do not have the guts, it ends as unsuccessful Spinner.

MB



Antwort von Axel:

"B. DeKid" wrote:
Optics on grass - where there are so what?


Black Afghani on an empty stomach. You are sitting in the movies, the curtain divides (ominous, ominous, what will it be?). Suddenly galloping horses directly to you about how something is possible! You clammy until you s.die backs, your pulse races. You look like escape to the ceiling - and into an abyss. Since it is certainly ten meters down. "We are!" schreist you, your seat synonymous neighbors seem to pack the horror.

Whether "optics" are, one can argue about. Just for clarification: Finger weg! These were sins of youth, what we have to recognize that there are no advertisements for the Marlboro advertising startup anymore ;-) *
* Class, such as by outlawing bad the world getting better and better.

"B. DeKid" wrote:
Oh yes - so who sits outside and s.chillen is synonymous to what has to drink it.


Why not have a picnic on a checkered tablecloth, charcoal (from the "practitioners") for the fish to grill, and other utensils, like the young loafer s.den drag the outskirts?

"joerg-emil" wrote:
I think the mood lighting "beautiful summer afternoon in the wild" to cheerfully. What my speakers with the seriousness of the forests has meant, I can share. Maybe if you had here on black / white or much colder / gray colors can draw. Even more exciting camera angles could be very useful (everything below eye level).


Had a very different movie had. Too idyllic? The high-voltage lines, the times are to be seen shortly, probably lead to any human world, and because it is the idyll with vinegar (the Shire, for example, seems to be no need to power poles). Also: Cell phone!

Clint Eastwood's Perfect World shows that idyll an equally thick-effect is like some bleached look. One says yes synonymous "pink glasses". This is a film noir, the only beautiful, sunlit landscapes plays.

"joerg-emil" wrote:
In addition to the many big shots missed me occasionally synonymous times a wide shot, only to the audience to make it easier, what happens to capture spatially synonymous.


The film should swing with a leisurely start, the situation is not positioning this otherwise anonymous forest, synonymous relative to the nearest road or town, makes clear. Latest Information gaps include admittedly only one insertion, which could look like with a beautifully stylish beeping letters (the "Typewriter") s.unteren left of the screen appear: things churches, 13:37. At the end of the setting on a slow zoom to the protagonists.

You're right: In many old and synonymous in the old written-off of new books on scene construction is that the first audience to see a wide shot, because otherwise he does not know the scene. This is a good rule, which is mainly in hospital series finds wherever the first hospital outside of it is shown necessary because otherwise you do not realize that the consequence of playing in a hospital.

Jonas is not a movie masterpiece, which he says so himself, and he calls for criticism. I want the movie is not better, than he is. Only to find out exactly what good what it criticizes.

Marc found the dialogues so synonymous set up, I am synonymous and beyond this shot suicide cliché. Then again not bad, that the boy is still alive. Firstly, on the other hand, a total of some half-baked. Point winner in the category s.einem day.



Antwort von joerg-emil:

@ Axel
... to the shots, Well, this for you completely outdated approach today is synonymous not only used in hospital series ;-)... I see it more as a spectator, and in fact, if you about a spatial sense for the scene to develop. If you are of course the disorientation of the spectator as a means of deliberately initiated want makes sense. But I think in this film it was simply not synonymous and it was not aware of this "play", it just happened, so I found the appropriate notice.

... to the Midsummer Night's Idyll with electricity pylons and prospective BBQ party ... it is clearly possible, synonymous in an idyllic atmosphere Voltage / threat to create falls to me spontaneously since the movie "Stand by Me" which also plays in the summer. Of course, this is awesome, if it succeeds, it will be in the short film, but unfortunately not.

@ Marc homemade ball
... to the black and white amateur wannabe filmmakers ... can only say stupid remark ... it is clear B / W meanwhile inflationary, but skillfully used still fantastic ... "Oi Warning 'wishes in Color I do not see. And what kind of color are always synonymous truly trite means no mood to be stressed, tell me a movie where it was abandoned altogether.

Gruß Jörg-Emil



Antwort von Zizi:

What cam was rotated?



Antwort von MarcBallhaus:

"joerg-emil" wrote:

@ Marc homemade ball
... to the black and white amateur wannabe filmmakers ... can only say stupid remark ... it is clear B / W meanwhile inflationary, but skillfully used still fantastic ... "Oi Warning 'wishes in Color I do not see. And what kind of color are always synonymous truly trite means no mood to be stressed, tell me a movie where it was abandoned altogether.

Gruß Jörg-Emil


True, FARBKORREKUR called the magic word, not Levels. A black and white film has no colors, but only contrasts. If you can handle with colors, it makes no s / w, quite simply, unless one is so great and cool that it may once again - because it covered everything important: For example Scheiss Lighting, Exposure Wrong, bad costumes, Mieses Makeup ... Simply everything to a good one movie. Therefore, s / w films simply a Faux Pas for young filmmakers, a certificate of absolute poverty and a fairly safe KO criterion for any form of application.

MB



Antwort von joerg-emil:

... och Marc, now that times are not so fussy, whether tonal or color correction, but you know what was meant ... pardon, if I am with the concepts have missed ...

... and just because s / w many things are easier to gloss over, disturb them not synonymous in the film ... ask why this benefit should be a hobby filmmakers not to use it? If the film is better then across, it is super!

I voted for a Project synonymous alienating quite a color, since most outdoor scenes s.verschiedenen days with different cameras have been rotated, and schwups, None hats noticed ... call it quiet hushes, ungekonnt, amateurish as synonymous or otherwise, the result has fallen ...



Antwort von JonasB:

Thank you in advance the criticism s.alle and Tips dagelassen have!

At the initial shot, which in any post above:

This "trick" of course I know him and wanted to synonymous apply only by a miserable misfortune (Lockknopf was activated xD), the Canon XL1
"Zizi" wrote:
What cam was rotated?
, the beautiful intro swing from the tree to the river, where the grad chilled beverages to be rausgeholt seats, not recorded ... well, I just want to get rid of me because the error has just re gewurmt: P. .. otherwise I do not wish "justify" or the statement of the film explain.
A question to
"B. DeKid" wrote:


Nutz forest boy for your age man Project

Camera cable

Crane and dolly may


So the crane and it is planned Steadycam, Dolly would be at the forest floor where we want to rotate, too much work that would look nice wenns synonymous. But the cable camera movement has me ... someone has ne idea how or where you s.sowas rankommt? I do not want planned HVX200 with 35, s.eine 3 meters high Eigenbaukontruktion hang verstänldich denk ich.
The images to me for a ride through the cable head shoot are attractive;)
Probably something is always a kind of special design, or?

Jonas



Antwort von High_Tension:

"Marc ball home" wrote:
because it covered everything important: For example Scheiss Lighting, Exposure Wrong, bad costumes, bad makeup ... Simply everything to a good one movie.


I would not sign. s / w mE shows any weaknesses in the Lighting quite striking.

On Film:
What are the dialogues was actually said. It is understood, so say what you wanted, but it's so clichéd that you shake your head over it must be. Sure you can with such a project do not expect professional actor. But this is certainly a point s.dem you can improve.

Color camera and I find it very good. I personally like synonymous moving the camera, especially since I do not think that it is restless.
As already said, had a couple of (super-) Close-ups and one or more other shot safely to the atmosphere contributed. Personally, I would have maybe a couple of Flash-back (eg fishing) installed. This creates just a bit more variety to the eye.

The trick, I found quite good. However, the statement concludes not really for me to. If I understand correctly, should be the one the hopelessness of the situation and on the other hand, the indifference of the two protagonists vs. Nils to be expressed. That would have been possible with a few pictures of friends going away solved. Definitely synonymous with better actors. Or maybe just better synonymous coached actors.

Otherwise, the rotation for one day more than good. Take it to the next painting more time for more options and better coaching. Then I'm ever curious about your next Project.

Regards



Antwort von B.DeKid:

@ Zizi

He shot it with a XL1

@ Marc

So with regard to b / w shooting I can only say there are a few of my favorites b / w films, but most quite old.

The only recent film to synonymous, but I really can recommend is probably "MEMENTO" - this film shocked / verwirred well aware through the use of b / w and is therefore one of my favorites when it comes to "MindTwistedMovies goes.
Even still look good in "The Machinist", if not actually synonymous b / w, synonymous here creates the look aufgesetzte the audience the situation to you.

@ Axel

Black Afghan front Movies -? Well if you still want to have movies - yes if Harold and Kumar run maybe .... but everything else is probably too "stressful."
Un Optics who goes, who knows that when the light out of the film ever really begins - that is synonymous not a thing for movies ;-)
But you're right all the sins of youth ;-)

.........................

Dolly Bzgl and wire

So I have a mountain Kettcar (with inverted front passenger seat as PowerClamp Tripod Recordings) The forest can be well used.

For the cable, you need to get action

Truck straps with ratchets
a few Carabiner Karabiner
2TrapezStange s.der the 2 -3 ropes attached
Rubber pieces s.den the ends of the ropes and s.Anfang as a buffer stoppers are used.
Normal rope and wire

A metal plate with rolls (s.besten s.Schenkel angle fortified Fuhrungsrollen to attach to the sled not the rope jumps)
The sled must have a downward-facing tripod head or recording - there are now smaller cameras for the possibility it via hot shoe or to attach a U profile to the camera as in the bottom of the crane in place.

...

You spread the truck straps around a tree, hang the trapeze with the wire-rope/rope-end On. The whole range with the ratchets.

In the outer rope you hang the sled, which is a medium-sized fuse wire rope which secures amongst the Camera and the video cable may be transported.

You move the sled by a rope which can be either the sleigh ride or just slows the sled pulls.

.........................

I would only requires a camera with manual lens use, then the distance to the object gefimlten always remain the same.

MfG
B. DeKid

PS.

See sketch
The rollers are solid green, the blue rollers can be used as guide rollers hochgeschoben and then be screwed firmly.

The trapeze is synonymous for höere stability s.den both directly attach Fix score - a strap binding, but usually keeps pretty good.



Antwort von domain:

Hard criticism s.diesem video can not simply say, because it is simply boring and trite, what the worst thing ever can be.
It shows, however, synonymous in my personal experience is very good that our kids have serious problems with their lives and perspectives of their roles and careers in general. That is simply not wegzuleugnen and thus the supersaturation and the decadence of our society already presented symptomatically.
There seems no real challenges for them, oversaturated and bored them to flee into "nicer" worlds.



Antwort von MarcBallhaus:

"B. DeKid" wrote:


@ Marc

So with regard to b / w shooting I can only say there are a few of my favorites b / w films, but most quite old.

The only recent film to synonymous, but I really can recommend is probably "MEMENTO" - this film shocked / verwirred well aware through the use of b / w and is therefore one of my favorites when it comes to "MindTwistedMovies goes.
Even still look good in "The Machinist", if not actually synonymous b / w, synonymous here creates the look aufgesetzte the audience the situation to you.


I bet not against s / w than Socher, but against s / w of young filmmakers, for that it is a Faux Pas which is to be avoided. s / w is an art form, but prior art is the skill, and it must be as a young first show.

MB



Antwort von domain:

Sometimes it is not a formal criteria, but transported to the statement. If I as well-fed women with hair in the hair with their children and the Famileinbeihilfe and seems quite appealing in homes in various talk shows do, then come to me sometimes other images in the mind:

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCllmenschen

With the social safety net is under unemployment and Hartz4 a tremendous achievement but the real hardness of life is at a high level masks.
I would almost recommend that our youth kiffende times for half a year s.die front of real life to healing, or better still in the original environment of a country life, where all of nature must be abgerungen ...



Antwort von B.DeKid:

"domain" wrote:
.....
I would almost recommend that our youth kiffende times for half a year s.die front of real life to healing, or better still in the original environment of a country life, where all of nature must be abgerungen ...


Or with the MTB and 20 kilos of luggage once in Vancouver and the Rockys cycle back ;-) Only if you × 200 n.of the next village sits in the tent and it rained for 5 days is the sense of the futility of his being -- because one wants to smoke as synonymous;-P

.................

@ Marc

Well I understand what you mean, only a lump sum to formulate it as I get to be wrong.

Right do you have but if you say that many look thus want to generate. Look of the needs of the whole story and be worn or came.
B / W is in my eyes only for certain things to use and should be synonymous not only flat B / W's but since you can already play.

.....................

@ Domain

One Fiehler me another - our youth has not only limited potential - or no more idea - you are not drugs, it puts you skillfully - if ever - a and draws strength from the experiences and ideas.

And for years synonymous is a strong decrease of soft drugs can be reported - now must do everything even better to make even more broadly.

There is no joint and a beer but hissed the nose depends on the mirror and then the snot down with high-gespüllt.
It costs less and is now fulfilled the purpose of the "consumption junkie" would like to have met.

I hope your teaching your child how to use drugs no preference whatsoever contrary has come to.
I see the INet synonymous as a type of drug - just as info!

MfG
B. DeKid

PS: Even as the criticism

Films the violence, gangsters and drug use as a tool are - of young filmmakers - usually quite bad in your key message and as a potential to be wasted!
Power other stuff - This Stuff Sucks.



Antwort von regalpacker:

Uh, I'm not quite sure obs someone said .. I believe it was not yet mentioned:

What is with the sound off? Everything asynchronously! Is that all subsequently been dubbed?



Antwort von mann:

"domain" wrote:
(...) I would almost recommend that our youth kiffende times for half a year s.die front of real life to healing, or better still in the original environment of a country life, where everything of nature abgerungen be ...


... Hemp cultivation in Morocco, with the hoe to the fields!



Antwort von domain:

Hey Jonas, age, verfuckter young videographers bring it out except your shitty imitations verfickten and from your point of view videos megaaffengeilen times verschissene own idea into the game, damn it all what a small positive aspect could have ...



Antwort von B.DeKid:

"domain" wrote:
Hey Jonah .... ..... bring it out from your point of view .... Videos .... an idea .... ...... .... a positive aspect ...


;-) http://forum.slashcam.de/viewtopic.php?p=333310#333310
The idea has something



Antwort von domain:

If the idea has something s.sich.
However, I would prefer an increase: shipwrecked on an island with a total of young female beauty as the only survivor, the man just before his death could save s.Land. We examined water and Tschappi for them and build a hut and gradually wins her love.
But Baumhaus boy and grandpa is synonymous with beautiful, I have to admit.



Antwort von B.DeKid:

http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/0,1518,534864,00.html

Quote:
He lost his job, his family and the living will: A 58-year-old has been on a high seat Uslar near starved to death. His painful death he documented in a diary.


Quasi history turn

The boy from the skin at home - wants to / can be settled in the woods - where he meets / or is of the old man is found - this takes with him to his tree house where he is of the company pulled back and doing live clarifies Him in relation to how hard but the real life is and what the boy should make sure that - he was still a lot to .... s.Ende young boy finds the man dead in the tree - ....

So I would like to implement this so the entire 20 minutes long with a short introduction to Jung and his family (the boy can come home for good, then because of a trifle young to escape from reality)

Verstörrt alone in the woods and wander around until he meets the man

The interpersonal relationship of the two texts with good stress .... perhaps scenes retrospective on the life of the man .... bring almost neatly and with family or something - then his current show Sittuation

In the end I would be the boy from a "white forest" can get out - the experience he has now collected Him is a life long support and strengthen.

MfG
B. DeKid

PS: When do you want to shoot because - do you have a script - is the concept / ShotList already and another halt - meld Dich mal, perhaps we gather here (I and my boys) and fund your idea - you could be synonymous with storyboards or HDR Images and etc. NEN bissel help.
If yes all times synonymous small and we like your idea because it is what do. And 2K times is not the world fails so what more do not.

bgdekid @ hotmail. com



Antwort von B.DeKid:

"domain" wrote:
......
However, I would prefer an increase: shipwrecked on an island with a total of young female beauty as the only survivors, ........


? The Blue Lagoon - Part 25, or how?

Can not be better implemented with a Wilson volleyball name.

MfG
B. DeKid



Antwort von PowerMac:

Red or Blue Lagoon Tampoon?



Antwort von DWUA:

Red One, Blue Screen, Green Michaela ...

;))



Antwort von shodushitanaka:

No Red Lagoon Tampoon =;)



Antwort von Spielkind:

so you got now synonymous angeguckt movie is really great, I really liked, but I was missing a total synonymous to me s.ort way to find. otherwise I have no complaints as an amateur;)




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