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Tipps zu meinem ersten Drehbuch/Filmversuch

Tips for my first script / Experimental Film

Frage von MacWei:
September 2007

Hello and good morning,,

because this is my first contribution here, I would like to briefly introduce myself. Bin of Klaus, 42 years from Witten (Ruhr area situated in the beautiful) and am just trying s.meinem first intended film project. Here is a purely private act Project, is not foreseen, as the film online. Rather purely for fun s.der thing and just to even the first small steps towards shooting to dare :-).
Is rotated with a simple entry-level camera (JVC GR-725D), as I will Schnittpogramm Ulead Video Studio 11 pros use. Just as little prior information.

Summary plot idea:

The protagonist returns from Berlin to his hometown and refers back to a new apartment. In this apartment, the two tenant shortly after her feeding inexplicably died (this tells the protagonist in the introductory sequence of pleasures). Shortly after his withdrawal, he is in the following days with nightmares and not explainable phenomena that make him more and more nervous destabiliseiren and ultimately to his death.
The viewer is based on the pictures (especially the dream sequences), although suspect that something in the apartment must have occurred which, what's next for the dreams and occurring phenomena is responsible, but ultimately not be able to see what is actually on the death of the leading protagonists.

HMH, hope this is somehow understandable :-).

Covered s.eine film such as duration of 20 minutes. Your opinion, too short or rather long, for the presentation of the planned story?

How would you s.besten the implementation of the dream sequences show, for example, so simple in B / W, blurred / fuzzy photos or completely different?

At the beginning is an introduction scene in a restaurant is planned, where the protagonist of friends on the Vorkomnisse experiences in the house (death of the two previous tenant) and s.Ende turn, where a woman tells her friend that she has a new apartment, just those in which the protagonist died. The rest should be actually at the events in the flat limit. I'm still unsure whether there is perhaps more appropriate would be to loosen up, even a mid-scene outside the apartment to install, where the nerves are already struggling protagonist briefly meet with friends.
Or prefer to omit, because for the meantime (hopefully) built up tension would be more harmful?

So, now that would be my first real questions about this. Since I am a complete beginners, I am of course synonymous with every other tip or advice


Antwort von Loni:

Hi Klaus!

That sounds interesting! It comes naturally to the happenings in the apartment, but I would tend to think 20 minutes is rather too long. But just so you can absorb more material and when cutting a lot of bouncers.
Scientifically, it would be pure nonsense, the dream sequences in black & white display, as has been found that the man does not know dreams in black, especially not when the events not only of pure imagination but originate from processing of reality. This is the most viewers, but its no preference. Try it with the simple average of the effects, you will be sure to quickly determine what you like better. This is synonymous to the style of the film on. A skuriller film may have strong effects, but for the seriousness of the dream, I would rather minimal effects to work with, so much the dream to reality and thus synonymous threatening for the protagonists and audience impact. There would be many short sequences and the severe cuts to offer a fast pace in the story bring. You could synonymous with night mode, the camera record, so that the movements are blurred, however, suffers gratitude underneath. But is yes, depending on the events perhaps not so important.

The scene outside the apartment, I would rather rauslassen, because the pace would be interrupted. That he is nervous s.Ende you should see him anyway, so would the novelty of the Communication synonymous with this scene is very low. In addition, he is synonymous so ready that he no longer goes out the door. And the central importance of housing, if it is the venue is synonymous is evident.

But if you want to show that he is so uncomfortable in the apartment feels that he is reluctant to indoors, you can only take it calmly and perhaps synonymous only haltingly he again enters the apartment. Or that he is out easier, perhaps even more sunshine, feeling liberated ... But only if it is synonymous with the fear of the conditioned apartment has.
If you're still unsure, take it easy synonymous and try to cut in as it is more convenient to you. Just imagine for each scene to say what you want, whether they really need to understand is a major mood or transported.

In any case a lot of fun filming!


Antwort von MacWei:

Hi Loni,

Once a big thank you for your nice to me very helpful post.

The dream sequences are not in the way of complete flashbacks, but rather as a rapid sequence of individual images. I therefore think of the good fit to the short sequences and hard cuts. Tend now synonymous rather away of the idea of S / W, but will probably try to use effects sparingly. Maybe really in the way that images are slightly faded across.

Just imagine for each scene to say what you want, whether they really need to understand is a major mood or transported.

That has helped me very much. I think you forfeit Beginners as quickly into the trap of too much reinzupacken what the audience is rather uninteresting and has no new information. Yesterday, two are from the Eisntellungen currently work in script kicked out :-).


Antwort von Axel:

On the subject of dream sequence, alienation and a thought: The best movies are filmed in the language of the dream tells (?!?)
A double alienation can therefore act arbitrarily. A style means (SW, vagueness) can be a conscious stylistic means you stand out and recognition as the original video Graf involved, but in reality, break the spell that you've previously lovingly conjured up (?!?)
Which dream of shooting scenes you can remember who you really have carried? Is not it always so that one remembers: Aha, now the figure is dreaming ...

Antwort von Schleichmichel:

It depends on what the dreams show. If there is so cliché images shown (the tenant with sliced artery sad look into the camera, while in the background of the flat blood s.den walls and fog herunterläuft go ... something in the way), I would distance before taking this solution. For if dreams do not (synonymous when the playwright would have the likes).

It is synonymous but wonder whether it affected the audience when a character from the film psychologically destabilized by dreams and will eventually kill you (or your own to do without dying). Whether the house such a nervous influence on the wellbeing of its people exercising (Shining), in this case would be almost no preference, just because you do not attend to affect operations.
Or prefer to omit, because for the meantime (hopefully) built up tension would be more harmful?

The "hopefully" betrays already, that you're only a fuzzy idea then of the what the film should reflect the audience. So basically yes this happened: man applies a flat in his home town (why is this important?), As previously people have died. By the time he is funny and dies, and then someone else moves into the apartment. You get an inkling that it synonymous will continue, and that the apartment is to blame.

This can be so aesthetically (ie superficial), as you want. It is s.Zuschauer go up and leaves a feeling, like after a bad Tykwer film. .... ;)

The difference between this project we Shining, for example, are, inter alia, that the curse of the hotel as a catalyst for the real drama. And that to me is missing here. Were Shining rotated in this way, Jack would come out of the sky with an ax to his family drive before Danny "Redrum" röcheln can.

And if someone dreams of worn, then through the trigger wakefulness (Caché), which somewhat synonymous with the protagonists themselves have to do, and above all: what is synonymous for them.

A concrete suggestion for improvement, I can not give you, since virtually no basis. I would still long synonymous not worry about rhythm and time to make as long as it is not clear what you want to tell. And only by leave of classical dramatic structure, one has no long s.Ende "Mulholland Drive".

Antwort von asa:

Hello Axel, hello surreptitious Michel,

synonymous grateful for your suggestions. HMH, probably incorrectly described the dream sequences represent only a part of the whole dar. parts of the dream sequences, so the images he sees in dreams, he is then waking in the apartment again. Ultimately it is therefore not only by the dreams destabilized nerves, but from the whole, dream images and visions, which he suffered in wakefulness.
No, it is not in the dreams of the liter of blood, the walls herunterfließen .-), just as little as fog move through the apartment. The dream sequences are more of a rapid sequence of successive frames are. These images show in fact a crime that, once in the apartment must have taken place. For example, a floor covered with newspaper, a bloodstained knife, the woman staring eyes, etc.. Not the s.sich apartment is the catalyst, but the backwardness of the victim's presence, that you resist the pain now traveling to the following residents reflected. Besides images, this is synonymous done acoustically. So for example, he repeatedly heard the crying of a woman.

Furthermore, I ask to take into account how the information applies to * an apartment in the home town of course synonymous * are able to relate to the protagonist of an apartment. But is holding my first attempt in this direction and therefore of the creation of a concept not quite laugh, well, actually almost no idea.
Have only mentioned this fact because in the introductory sequence mentioned.


Antwort von PowerMac:

I must say that 90% of the script is missing. I read a little because the classic hero journey, such as Vogler out. The hero then returns back. Why? Why? What are the psychological motives for this? What is the reputation? The hero returns to you voluntarily and unmotivated in a new situation and there needs to exist, but what he fails and dies.

I would then build:

1. The hero lives in his world is about normal, but full of self-doubt in any deeds He has a family.
2. It gets slow at night and nightmares he experiences a professional defeat. Later he found by chance when cleaning s.Dachboden old photos of his mother, who then died is unclear (she has nightmares, fell into a coma baseless and then died). This context, but even he does not. The photos come from the old family house, which all together have inhabited. Apparently, everything with an old ring to do ...
3. The dreams are worse, he opposes but is just in front and suicide. In the dreams he gets the message to see the house and the death of his mother enlighten. And the secret of the old ring to find. At the same time it serves to its own healing.
4. His father, the alcoholic has been immersed for years suddenly and tells him of strange dreams, the synonymous lately he has. The father would like to enlighten the old events, but falls into a coma synonymous, he has a green ring s.Finger. The hero sets off to finally solve the mystery.
5. The hero is sitting in the train and get a vertigo attack, after it is clear that he ever plans.
6. Arrived in the old house is now the family household anything but helpful. They apparently have no problems and would like the comic heroes and not let in to investigate.
7. The hero bandelt in a strange pub with the daughter of the new homeowner to. They told their parents were ring manufacturers to acquire and they often visit of an African shaman. He may not in the house and closer to his mother in a dream to him the secret of the ring explains. It confesses that it was suicide. At the end of the dream becomes the mother but the father. The hero jumps up and goes into the basement of the house. There he observed the homeowner at forging a ring. He is powerless and fantasizes.
8. He wakes up and before the choice: it includes the sect s.oder he wants to die?
9. In a dream, he sees that his daughter is daughter of the homeowner. He decides to make the lives of his children to protect and forfeit the darker dreams.
10. He goes back home to his family and explained that he had found the puzzle. His mother had only pills.
11. The hero is torn out and her and do not know what to do. He again visited his old house and recognize the background of the ring and of dreams. The self-doubt in him to rise exorbitantly, he swears to do everything to be forgotten, but he falls in a dream dizziness, when he wants to take off his ring.
12. The hero dies before his family. The father wakes up and helps the family with the formalities of the funeral. At the funeral the mother lives at once. Or is it the wife of the hero who has transformed?

Wonderful, is not it? ;)

Antwort von asa:

@ PowerMac:
People like you, are sufficiently known in the forums, so any further comment superfluous.

To all others Thanks again for your tips or opinions.


Antwort von PowerMac:


Antwort von asa:

@ MacWei / Klaus

20 minutes can damn long.
(The show has PowerMac want);))

Professionals, such as "X-Factor: The inconceivable" (RTL II Mystery Series)
would your script idea to compress 3-4 minutes of film.
How long and what can possibly be kept tension high?

Unless you make a short film of 20 minutes in length,
where you be at least 3 / 4 so abgibst, "prehistory,"
"Landscapes," "individuals", etc. to describe ( "illustrate"!) To
s.Ende to a "rude awakening" or what is synonymous to come.

Axel has also right when he says that scenes that
with the "faded look" as a dream to be announced,
at least not rousing effect. Because:
(While a dream is believed synonymous yes, it is reality)
Some prefer to use slomo, others through the zoom (open /
closed eye), if at all.
Depends on HOW it is done.

For all that still the most important thing:

The (the) main character!
A challenge for any actor.
Do you have a good choice?

No matter how serious script can prevent involuntary basis in a comedy film takes an is laughing!
(Which brings us back to "X-Factor" would be)


Antwort von Axel:

"Anonymous" wrote:
@ PowerMac:
People like you, are sufficiently known in the forums, so any further comment superfluous.

"Anonymous" wrote:
20 minutes can damn long.
(The show has PowerMac want);))

Are you so hostile because of the author or the story because? At least there is mystery here, "gothic" motives, motivations and ausschlachtbare a structure.
Drehbücher anyway are just raw material, but what that is logically prior to the media-material is required, otherwise there's botch. Exceptions (Casablanca) confirm the rule.

Antwort von DWUA.:

From DWUA s.Axel:

Hello Axel,
Hostilities against the author, we had really
not make sense.
We remain:
From "20 minutes you can be damn long ..."
to "... bringing us back to X-factor would be ..."

Logged in as "guest" s.Fr 28 Sep, 2007 19:45
we always take seriously what we wrote.


Antwort von DWUA:

@ Klaus (MacWei):

Do you feel of DWUA unfairly treated?
How do you think about the performers themselves problem?

Antwort von asa:

In fact, with his sarcastic PowerMac amendment proposals at the core of the thing taken. A feature film screenplay without any real evidence, but without emotional identification s.Zuseher possibility is quite gone, and will only be felt boring and irrelevant.
Generally, it is much easier, grausliche, macabre, bloody, ugly or distorted view of things as ironic, humorous or profound cunning and funny. Consider s.Loriots movies or s.Woody Allen.
Anyway, it is very difficult for amateurs, with their modest means anything interesting on its feet and represent the concerns mainly feature films, sometimes because of the many amateur Laienhaftigkeit actor. A good actor can take 10 times in a row with increasing precision and increasing expression of a scene repeated. Man trying times with the non-professional actors, of exceptions. The display will always matter to total listlessness.
In addition, there are no two different evaluation criteria:
hie amateur movie, because professional quality film.

There is only one criterion: Film s.sich.

And feature films are usually not exactly the strength of amateurs.

So get more amateur than the search after film worthy things you can cope with synonymous

Antwort von DWUA:

Sun and not (much) it is otherwise ...

What TRAUM (-atisches) in the movie refers to:
We will never tire of a movie next to a friend, because
his screenplay, the Directing, the camera work, editing, the sound,
the actor, ever had a shock strengthened in a Mental Health
Visitor leaving the cinemas had to leave, as this:

"The process" (W) 1963/64

after Franz Kafka
(Orson Welles, Anthony Perkins, Romy Schneider and others)

Since claustrophobia is deliberately generated by realistic
sw-contrast images from extreme perspectives and especially
by a masterfully-erratic nervous protagonists K.
(= the young A. Perkins) ...

What is here now?
Look at it to see how something was done.
Without effects, without digital modifications, for perfectly
Coordination of all stakeholders.
Pure art crafts.

Unfortunately, running a maximum of once every leap years during times of 04:30

Antwort von Loni:

So, Klaus, do you now do not be discouraged. The screenplay has, in fact, very little content, but you can still fill up. I think it is primarily concerned with the psyche of the protagonist and the unrest it affects the psyche and to around one can always say much, because synonymous not need any rings or other mysterious things come into play. I am thinking for example s.den movie "Spiders" by director David Cronenberg. Den you should look at it. Some people believe that the synonymous for lame, but I think he has a fascinating atmosphere and without much speech. On speaking anyway, I would largely refrain in the film. The content will be synonymous to tell us which language can be quickly seen by the principal to listen to tempt the images will be ignored and then you can make a radio play synonymous. Also technically, the whole lot easier because you do not need good micro.

But if I have understood correctly, are you not primarily a film in top quality, but an own experimental film. So you just try. If you like the movie s.Ende not like it then do you stop then better!

Antwort von Wotan:

Sorry that I have now synonymous my mustard dazugeb unnecessary, but the whole thing sounds s.wie a movie idea to me and my friends always desirable, if we ne partying and superior to what movie we could turn ...
Regardless of the performance of the actors (where you do not have many of them will), this is a standard idea of the "we" always have the first but immediately as "already been present" kill.

Nevertheless, if you have the actors involved, IT IS SIMPLE ...
That would be better than what I am with my friends doing NOTHING ;-)

But a useful tip I can you in any case give: with Ulead reach you in any case the right-look amateur. (The effects and crossfades of Ulead potboilers are not ...) I would rather the whole fun and trashy classic look as serious, everything else would fail in my opinion.

So not long to think over it; TU, MACH and post your results!

lg, harry

Antwort von MacWei:

Good morning,

thanks for the many responses and apology, which I only now can report that I s.Wochenende could not go onto the Internet.

@ DWUA: No DWUA, feel now your posting is not treated unfairly or attacked. Since I now know why not synonymous. Sure, with the Dastellern it is not easy. However, one should note that it is a film project to be, which is primarily used to me a little with the matter to be tackled. Not just in order to be listed somewhere :-). So I know I have to draw people back and that is obviously not an actor. But we will try to the best out of what is possible.

So get more amateur than the search after film worthy things you can cope with synonymous

I note that it is not for me to cope, then I will have to accept. I will only find out when I tried it and I will in any case.

@ Loni: Yes, that's true. As I said, I'm just synonymous with s.script to work. My opening post should only roughly represent what issue it is. Especially for me as far as possible out of the given tips and advice with the script can be introduced.
Discouraged, I will not :-). And despite my modest means, I will stop trying as best as possible to get. I would therefore synonymous so your opinions heard. Especially with the talking, I thought synonymous and it is therefore synonymous rather give very sparse dialogue. That should s.schwierigsten the introduction sequence, where the protagonist meets two friends and they told of the apartment.
And you have understood it correctly, it's about a film experiment.

@ cassiopeia: HMH, no, the idea is not to me at a party came. Since this was an idea, which is already in many variations, or where there is clear to me synonymous. For me, among other things synonymous crucial that I do not need a lot of filming locations, cast and little bit of spoken scenes. What I have for a first attempt to find more helpful.

Sun and again a big thank you s.alle.


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